Oi, MPs, you don’t know what we voted for!

Listening to the news, I keep hearing from commentators and politicians that, “the people voted for a hung parliament,” or “the people voted for a soft Brexit,” or “the people voted for bananas!”

Bloody hell, you prats!

How DARE you pretend to know what we voted for.

Each person had their own reason to vote and their own reasons how they voted. Just because they voted for a particular party, does not mean they all voted for the same thing. There are a thousand issues and ideas that might have influenced their choice.

Some will have voted Labour because they like rail nationalisation.

Some will have voted Tory because they think they like their tax policy.

Some will have voted for higher taxes, some for lower taxes, some for a particular stance on immigration, and any number of other reasons.

No one, or very few, will have voted because they agreed with 100% of a particular manifesto — for the gods, we don’t even read the things!

No one will have voted for a hung parliament; it wasn’t on the ballot paper.

And likewise, no one will have voted for a hard or soft Brexit because no one really knows what they hell they are and just want something that doesn’t involve us going broke.

So, why do you all insist that a) you know what we voted for and b) believe that we all voted for the same things??

You don’t.

This is the typical egocentric, opportunistic, self-indulgent bollocks that you all puke up by the bucket load, pretending you actually know what you are talking about.

You don’t. Again.

Just because you got a hung parliament does not mean everyone in this country doesn’t like what is going on and is trying to give everyone a bloody nose.

We don’t all talk to each other. The social media sites are not full of, “how are you voting? Okay, I will go the other way because that will piss them off!”

You are all so used to looking at the voters as a SINGLE statistic, that you cannot get your stupid heads around the fact that we are 45 million individuals. The only thing that you can be certain of is that for the over-simplistic questions you ask us because you think we are stupid, there are 45 million answers.

So, get off your podiums and start thinking of us as individuals.

Then, perhaps, you might realise, that to run a country of 65 million people (not GOVERN, we are not serfs), the watchword of the week should not be STRONG or STABLE or NEW or ALTERNATIVE.

It should be COMPROMISE.

Oh, and stop pretending you can read my mind — you cant, you pratt, so bugger off.